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Artikel DJKN
Insecurity Can Be Good For You
Debora Putri Noventin Siburian
Kamis, 30 September 2021 pukul 15:40:16   |   14914 kali

We read it somewhere or always heard about how insecurity is a weakness. Every time we feel insecure and less than others, we treat it as a bad feeling, like we’re weak-minded. Even worse, we beat our selves up when we feel insecure, like we’re feeling something we shouldn’t feel. We shouldn’t feel insecure! We have to be confident! Lift your chin up, you’re great! Those are several lines we often tell our selves so we can get out from insecurity. Or, we think we can.

But, what if I told you that insecurity can be good for you?

First, we have to know where insecurity comes from. Insecurity comes from comparison. We compare ourselves with someone or some people we believe are greater than us. Maybe their success, their love life, their appearance, or their achievements. We compare our selves with their life aspects that we believe we’re lack of, so then the insecurity begins to come out.

The debatable hard part of being insecure is to accept the fact that there will always be people who are greater than us. That’s just how this world runs. There will be people who are more successful, prettier, smarter, richer, and the list goes on.

Insecurity sounds so hopeless, doesn’t it? Wrong.

Psychologically proven, insecurity can be your jumping stone. When we feel we’re lacking something, it’s actually the feeling of accepting the fact that we’re not perfect. But what we don’t realize is that insecurity actually an open invitation for learning and advancing.

1. Accept your feeling

No need to beat your self up for feeling insecure. It’s unhelpful and will distance yourself with your inner self. You won’t neglect someone you love who’s feeling low, right? You won’t tell someone they’re stupid for feeling sad, right? You will listen and try to understand them. That’s what you do to your self too. There’s no crime in saying “Yes, I’m insecure about this situation and it’s okay.” Accept it with compassion. Insecurity is a normal temporary feeling that can happen in everyone at some point.

2. Insecurity is the second phase of achieving your goals journey


(image source: onlinepethealth.com)

The graph you see above is The Dunning – Kruger effect. We can simply notice how the confidence from ‘Peak of Mt. Stupid’ freefall to the lowest confidence level – ‘Valley of Despair’, even though we’re getting better in our wisdom. It means that insecurity is part of achieving goals journey. Having insecurity simply means you’re actually moving forward and doing better than before. When we look at the graph, we can see how the confidence level’s going up slowly. So, the important part is the next step we choose after being in Valley of Despair.

3. The Next Step

“Falling down is not a failure. Failure comes when you stay where you have fallen.”

~ Socrates

I’m going to put it like this: Insecurity exists so that we can learn from people we feel insecure with. What do they do that brings them to their current state? Is it their hard-work, resilience, long time study, or being in a great community? As to appearance, maybe they do more self care, beauty treatments, do their hair, explore their fashion style, exercise and watch what they eat? We lack on something doesn’t mean it won’t belong to us. Insecurity shouldn’t stop us, instead it should motivate us to learn and do better. Take one step at a time. Change what you can change. It’s okay if you move slowly, as long as you move forward with better skill day by day.

When to know insecurity is bad for you?

Insecurity is like flame. In the right amount, it can light our candle or fire lamp through the dark, or it can destroy things (in this case, destroys us) if we don’t control it.

So, how can we know the insecurity is bad for us? When the insecurity makes you want to stop, or even worse, makes you want to withdraw yourself from your friends, family, and the world. In some cases also, it can make you obsess in comparing yourself with others, especially when it comes to images we see in social media. Note that, it’s unfair to compare our selves with images in social media, because it means that we’re comparing our worst traits that we hide from social media to someone’s best traits that they show in social media.

Uncontrolled insecurity can lead to depression and in some cases can lead to body image problems. In this situation, if you feel like your insecurity do more harm to you than motivating you, seeking help to professional may be the right decision. And please remember that there is no shame about this , because you’re not alone experiencing it.

Conclusion: Insecurity isn’t always a bad thing. Treat it with compassion and see through it. It may want to tell you what your self wants to improve.

Hope this post can help everyone who’s struggling with their insecurity and bring some light in dark days! Have a nice day! (Deborah,Subbagian Umum )


Disclaimer
Tulisan ini adalah pendapat pribadi dan tidak mencerminkan kebijakan institusi di mana penulis bekerja.
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